@Cpin42: Actually, this is my first rodeo. Why is that angry cow trying to kill me?
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@Underchilde: When couples tell me they're taking their relationship to the next level, I just assume they’re gonna start throwing cutlery at each other.
@MommaUnfiltered: *My 9YO wants you to RT* Broccoli and carrot are driving down the street and get a flat tire. Broccoli: We'll have to use asparagus.
@Phook75: Considering we've produced Miley Cyrus and Kanye West, I'm more surprised other countries haven't built a wall around the U.S.