@MaraWritesStuff: Adele is an amazing singer. The problem is, when one of her songs comes on, everyone else thinks they are, too
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@stockejock: I'm already getting anxious over Christmas due to my Santa Claustrophobia-the fear of being smothered in an elevator by a crowd of Santas.
@jazz_inmypants: GENIE: i want infinity more bananas BANANA SALESMAN: GENIE: do u see how annoying that is
@iRowlf: Prank Idea: Toss some red laundry in the ocean and turn the great white sharks into the great pink sharks.
@SomthinBoutSara: Just dropped ranch dressing on my phone then licked it off. So some of you just got to first base with me.