@: Netflix has such a dead movie selection, no wonder half the time everyone just starts having sex instead

@MavenofHonor: Seems like I can't even sit on a park bench anymore without someone's henchman sneaking by to swap briefcases

@quintywinties: Hello darkness my old friend, I fell and broke the lamp again

@Adar79Angie: When listening to skinny girls talk about losing weight it's perfectly reasonable to battle cry then karate chop their tiny stomach's.

@WildeThingy: "I want to swim with an overweight, rich white guy before I die." - Dolphin bucket list.