After a week of helping the kids doing online learning we have decided that math is really not a necessarily life skill

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”Hey, you like water? yes? well I can turn it into wine.” -Jesus flirting in a bar


Your “COEXIST” sticker inspired me to slip a Madagascar hissing cockroach through your car window at the mall. Peace.


Hey, girl. Are you a potato? because I’m about to. Mash. You. Up. Oh. You ARE a potato. And a talking potato at that. My meds aren’t working


Guys, women can spot another woman at 10 paces and tell you if she’s wearing 5″ or 6″ heels. She knows exactly what, 6″+ looks like.


For #BackToTheFutureDay try and get your mom to hit on you.



One tall iced latte please

“Ok, can I have a name?”

Well ok but it really should come from your parents


If a conspiracy theorist tries to suck you into one of their wacky stories, just counter it with an even crazier theory.

Them: the moon landing was fake!

You: dude u still believe the moon is real? *shake ur head & walk away*