[after first date]

Him: I had a great time, I’d love to see you again

Her: Yes, we should do this again sometime but with other people

You Might Also Like


You know you’ve just had lunch with a narcissist when your neck is stiff from nodding.


[inventing mint choc-chip]
me: “people love ice cream right?”
boss: “yes they do”
me: “people love chocolate chips?”
boss: “i hear ya”
me: “know what else people love?”
boss: “hit me”
me: “brushing their teeth”


Never marry a girl whose mother’s name is Hope…. because ‘Hope’ never dies.


My dream guy is hot, funny and smart. And he’ll ask me to marry him with a green lantern ring. And he has powers. And a castle. And Yoshi.


My youngest son can grow a beard even though his father can’t.
Score 1, for my facial hair producing genes.


Not to brag, but according to my husband I can help with any home improvement project by getting the hell out of the way.


can you start monday at 8?
“yes, thank you for the opportunity”
[calls new boss at his home on sunday night]
“am or pm?”