[cops knock on my door]
“Who said that then?”
“Jesus Christ, well do u know when Mr Hughes will be back?”
After I spent my entire one on one with my boss talking about my love of serial killer documentaries, he suddenly stopped micromanaging me so much… weird.
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Haven’t worn a watch in 20+ years. Coincidentally, I haven’t poured my drink on the floor when asked for the time in 20+ years.
Dude! Stop being such a baby, man up, walk over there and ask her if she like, ‘like-likes’ me.
STEP 1: Sign up for email newsletter
STEP 2: Receive email newsletter
STEP 3: Delete unread email newsletter for the rest of your life
Can’t trust anyone that refuses to admitnThey are wrong. nnSidenote: I do have a place to hide their bodies.
(Disney Dating Tips)
3.Awkward music-filled dates
4.Angry mob danger
-Beauty & the Beast
*does a 360° and walks in further*
Ah that’s why I failed geometry
Her: It’s disgusting how many dirty habits you have.
Me: THE NUNS PAY ME GOOD MONEY TO DO THIER LAUNDRY OK???
the correct way to spell “hats” is HATS because it’s all caps