@junejuly12: After spicing things up in the bedroom, don't rub your eyes for at least 30 minutes.
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@causticbob: My wife must be the slowest reader ever. I bought her a Kindle last Christmas and she still hasn't finished it.
@MelvinofYork: Apparently you can't use the "don't make me turn this car around" threat if your kids never wanted to go in the first place
@GrantTanaka: Wife: you're drunk Me: no'm not Wife: I'M JUST A POOR BOY NOBODY LOVES ME Me: HE JURSTA PRO BROY FUMMA FLOOR FLAMLEE Wife: Me: ok lil bit