“Let’s play 21 questions”
Nigerian Girl: how tall are you?
Nigerian Guy: Rice. What’s the worst thing you’ve done with a guy?
Alarm clock that releases spiders… NOW you’re up. Million dollar idea.
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I began writing full time 20 years ago. I’ve sold lots – my tv, my car, my jewellery…
Does anyone know the life span of a honey baked ham? Please say 6 months.
Never mind, I’m just gonna pretend everything’s going to be ok.
What idiot called them dog tags instead of collar ID
I only feel really dirty when I go to the grocery store now.
her: [seductively] hey baby, u wanna get out of here?
me: oh hell yeah
her: awesome, we’d all appreciate it
Florida mom delivers 14-pound baby after surprise pregnancy .
Florida?? NO PART of this story surprises me.
As an employee, I bring passionate commitment to the goal of receiving a paycheck every two weeks