@pinupteacher

All I’m saying is God wouldn’t have given me this wild hair if he didn’t want me to store stuff in it.

*baby hedgehog peaks out*

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@malloryomeara

Work from home culture is keeping emergency pants by the front door in case someone knocks.

@Classy_Cassy89

45 min phone call w/8yo nephew:

Aunt Cassy, there are 206 bones in the human body!Want me to name them?1.Cranium 2.Mandible 3.Scapula…

@InternetHippo

Health care reform is a tough sell politically. How do you campaign against health insurance companies, whom everyone loves

@EastKentTom

Instagram’s down? What am I supposed to do with my cat? Stroke it?

@daddydoubts

I’m not sure which is a gentler way to wake me up; my 2yo or walking barefoot through a pile of glass shards.

@KingRainhead

i always wear this epi pen its rly special. my friend gave it to me literally as he was dying it seemed very important to him that i have it

@edawg_eric

I don’t care if you used to be the village bicycle…

All that matters is that you’re my bicycle now.

~inspirational tweet

@Landon_TSNTL

The Lord moves in mysterious ways but you don’t have to. Please use your blinker.