@LoveNLunchmeat: All of my best fantasies include a French maid. She cleans the house while I nap.
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@UncleDuke1969: I wasn't allowed to watch "A Charlie Brown Christmas" as a kid because of my Peanut allergy.
@BoomBoomBetty: [gets to heaven, transforms into angel] God: Here’s your white gown and— You JUST got here. How did you already spill spaghetti sauce all over yourself?
@TragicAllyHere: I would love to be British. Drinking my leaf water and staring at a huge clock from my red phone booth, adding extra letters to wourds.