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@BuckyIsotope: *all the Avengers line up to face Thanos*
THANOS: who’s the purple guy
IRON MAN: that’s Hawkeye
THANOS: oh
THOR: he shoots arrows
THANOS: like magical ones?
CAPTAIN AMERICA: *pauses* just regular ones
THANOS: I see
HAWKEYE: you guys know I can hear you right
@actioncookbook: USERS: you're alienating the people who actually use your product TWITTER: likes are now florps USERS: what TWITTER: timeline goes sideways
@ScubavelliDeux: *whispers seductively in your ear* "...look at that last slice of pizza and you're dead to me..."
@thestlouisan: I Really Didn't Think I'd Need A Cart ~ A Costco Story ~
@KimmyMonte: {first date} Him: I'm 100% Italian. *trying to impress him* Me: Wow that's so crazy my dad happens to be a calzone
@AimeeHelene1: I love when I make people laugh so hard they spit out their water... Or food... Or baby...
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