Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they’re getting insulted or complimented daily.
All the rooms in this asthma clinic offer breathtaking views.
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A woman isn’t really heartbroken unless she does something drastic to her hair.
My daughter says people on Facebook are warning to not post about your hairdresser if they make a house call because they’ll lose their license. I imagine vigilante beauticians using the cover of night to sneak out and fight dead ends and gray roots using their capes as…capes.
putting soup in a square tupperware…… it’s just not right. it should be a circle one which is the shape of soup
the best mornings start with heat between my legs
coffee it’s coffee on my lap
In a coffee shop ask the person next to you to watch your laptop, but don’t leave. Put on netflix and binge spongebob with your new pal.
Mom, you’re embarrassing me in front of the hostages!
I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there’s no point in bothering with hash browns then.
Bruce Willis is being chased by a pug. he jumps in a taxi and escapes. he breathes a sigh of relief. the driver turns around. it’s the pug
Trump is the perfect candidate for American guys who secretly believe they could come out of the stands and score a touchdown