@kelkulus: All those years studying karate saved my life one night, when a man with a gun jumped out of nowhere and demanded I count to 10 in Japanese.
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@joelu72: [writing my first autopsy report] There was a slight mix-up initially but it turns out the guy died from an accidental autopsy
@davidkenny100: *Text I'm on my way Kurt Cobain: take your time Ok cool Hurry up Er... sorry The choice is yours Oh! Ok Don't be late Ffs dude!
@themiltron: [working at Bed Bath & Beyond] ME: Hi there, may I help you? What are you looking for? CUSTOMER: Shower head. ME: Sir, please, we just met.