Sorry I dressed up your babies for a cowboys and Indians reenactment.
It was super cute until the smallpox incident.
Allergies right now are life’s way of playing “PSYCH”.
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Picture someone stepping down off a curb that they didn’t realize was there. Now you can say you’ve seen me dance.
HR- do you know why we called you down here today?
Me- your broomstick is broke and you need a ride?
Me- a house landed on your sister
“I’m going out”
• might be illegal now?
“I’m going outside for my state approved singular daily walk”
• Kinda Soviet
• Good for public health
Me: I miss traffic and people
Mother Earth: IDK this is the best I’ve felt in YEARS
i bet when fish see it’s raining they’re like “oh cool a refill”
Me: ‘Don’t let her know ur a boxing ring announcer…’
Her: “Shall we order dessert?”
Me: “LET’S GET READY TO EAT APPLE CRUUUUMBLE!”
Don’t do drugs kids. Give that shit to your parents. They’ve had a long day.