This cashier just held my five dollar bill up to the light in case you’re wondering how I do with first impressions.
Almost every branch of science has a pseudoscience associated with it: chemistry and alchemy, astronomy and astrology, math and economics…
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Make sure your first place together is on the ground floor, so when she throws your stuff out the window, it won’t break.
I presented pragmatic, irrefutable facts and felt confident I made my case, but my dog would have none of it.
Kmart is closing 108 stores putting 16 cashiers out of work.
The only thing more boring than Lance Armstrong’s interview is the Tour de France.
Dream inside a dream
Inn inside an inn
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:
– email from your gran
I don’t know why people say bedtime for kids is hard. All I have to do is make sure the room’s exactly 71.3 degrees, give 3 hugs, 1.5 kisses, read 11 bedtime stories, come up with a Broadway musical on the spot, tuck them in, & leave for 5 minutes before bringing them to my bed.
And when I looked back, there were no footprints in the sand at all. What kind of beach are you running here?
I just said “bye – bye” when I ended a phone call, and now I’m debating on if I should have my milk & cookies before or after recess.
Maps used to say cool stuff like “Here Be Dragons.” Now they just say bullshit like “Portugal.”