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the only way to save the bees is by beeing fiscally responsible. don’t spend the bees faster than you earn them. start a bee savings account. set yourself a bee budget
I’m quiet and not great about confronting neighbors, so I renamed our wifi Everyone Hates Your Rooster, Greg.
You are NOT too much. You are ENTITLED to take up space. If the Suez Canal doesn’t have room for you that is the Suez Canal’s problem.
Here’s a list of things I need you to accomplish without any resources to do them with.
ME: So, was I a good person on earth?
GOD: I mean, you did the Macarena at every wedding
GOD: Like, even when it wasn’t playing
ME: Yeah, that’s bad
GOD: And not even just to dance songs either
ME: Okay I get it
GOD: You barely got in here
My mom, doing a crossword puzzle, asked me for a rapper named Dr. ___. I replied Dre, and she said “oh yeah I forgot about him”. She has no clue how funny this is.
cat: hello please pet me
me: sure *goes to pet*
cat: NOT THERE
cat: *points at a 1mm size spot on head* here and here only
me: ok *pets spot*
cat: *swats me*
me: what the hell
cat: i changed my mind
Fired from my court room sketch artist job, for putting thought bubbles on people’s heads saying “The court room sketch artist is so hunky.”