Easily one of the best social distancing ads I’ve seen
Am I financially wealthy? No.
But am I rich when it comes to relationships, happiness, and experiences? Still no.
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UPS: your package arrived in your city and wiII be delivered at 4:10pm
FedEx: your package is on the way, you will get it when we get it to you
USPS: you ordered something..right?
Amazon: we’re in your house
Instagram: you were thinking about this item so heres 5 ads about it
Him: It’s like people are going feral.
Me: *looks in mirror*
*tries to run fingers through my hair*
*hand gets stuck in rat’s nest*
*flicks ham off my shirt*
*takes deep breath*
It’s finally my time to shine. I shall be their leader.
Subway Guy: Enjoy your sandwich
Me: You too!
Me: *gives him my sandwich* this is yours now
My toddler fell, smashed his face into the cement, then played it off like he was giving the ground a kiss.
No DNA test necessary.
HER: Wow you look great.
ME: Thanks. I use both my eyes.
Just showed my 4 yo niece that I can still do a cartwheel and now she is showing me where the ice packs are.
I’m dressing up as a public radio station for Halloween so my parents will support me again.
WIFE: it’s your turn to change the baby. he left you a little present haha
ME: *opens diaper* how the hell did he get an x box in there??