@NotthatAdamWest: I don't know, Jay-Z. If I was worth half a billion dollars, I'd have like 3 problems. Max.

@murrman5: you could tell me any fact about how dangerous animals are in australia and I’d believe you. they got vampire bees? of course they do. dogs don’t need a permit to carry a gun? I won’t even google it.

@MableGertrude: Things were different in the 80s one time I was kidnapped for a week and no one looked for me. I came home & my room was converted to a gym.

@FeelingEuphoric: He lifts up my shirt only to have a full serving of broccoli fall out, steamed to perfection

@david8hughes: Me: mmm daddy, all up in there Priest: it’s “our father who art in heaven”