@Mr_Mike_Clarke: LAZINESS LEVEL: PRO! #NationalLazyDay

@SJKSalisbury: I was led to believe that in the future all health problems would be solved by shrinking a ship and injecting it into the body so that a ragtag crew of loveable misfits could shoot lasers at diseases, but instead we just get told to eat less bread.

@KalvinMacleod: Me: Can I pet your dog? Stranger: sure M: one more time S: uh, ok M: again S: maybe you should get your own M: pet S: we have to go M: mine

@Schmoodles: Someone at work asked if I'd listened to any good books lately, and now I've got a body to dispose of. :(

@SteveSuckington: How many instruments do you have to be terrible at before you start playing the triangle?