Staring out into the horizon..
Me: this is so peaceful, tranquil & romantic
[Bf holding up a stuffed lion]
Bf:Ah zabenya za dabib du da
medic: sir do you need oxygen
me: no dying is fine
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if i could just have a moment of ur time to show u this…
New rule: no video games before the time you’d normallly get home from school. That’s going to work with the 17 year old, right?
Me: *levitating, a jumble of furniture swirls chaotically around me*
Him: so, you still mad?
Elon Musk: *launches car into space*
Me: why don’t you do something for economically poor class
Elon Musk: *launches bicycle into space*
Chef 1: You can’t serve cake for breakfast, moms won’t allow it.
Chef 2: What if we fry it in a pan & pour syrup all over it?
The microwave was invented in 1946 when an enraged toddler demanded his food be locked in a revolving prison and destroyed by lasers.
It’s so annoying when you’re trying to poison someone but they’re just not thirsty 🙁
Kid: “You know in Minecraft when..”
I teach curse words and racial slurs to children whose parents allow them to run around restaurants.