@eslpaul

America is getting murder hornets

Canada is getting I said good day sir! *puts top hat back on rather more forcefully than is necessary* hornets

You Might Also Like

@MasterSociopath

I mistook the Facebook status box for Google search, and now I don’t have to go to family functions any more.

@TheDrunkStory

“I don’t understand why people try to act drunk. I spend most of my time trying to act sober.” – Florida State

@Steve_hamiltin

We gave you Nickelback and Justin Bieber. You responded with the Kardashians and Honey Boo Boo. Well played America, well played

@caliraingirl

Everyone should have that “tester” first twitter account to screw up and learn from… You know, kinda like that first child you have.

@primawesome

I haven’t had bread in 3 weeks. I look great but now all I think about is bread. I’m basically a duck at this point.

@IamEnidColeslaw

when the ice cream man drives down my street I walk alongside him screaming TAKE ME WITH YOU I WILL BEAR YOU MANY STRONG SONS

@bossy_bootz

Everyone’s an atheist until they’re making a phone call & praying it goes to voicemail