@TheTweetOfGod: America is the greatest country on earth at thinking it's the greatest country on earth.
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@HousewifeOfHell: The thing that makes me suspicious of hair ties is you have either 25 of them, which show up on every surface of the house and the bottom of your bag, or zero. There is no in between.
@UncleDuke1969: Growing up, Sesame Street taught me the importance of education, empathy, and kindness. Bugs Bunny, on the other hand, taught me that revenge on my enemies should be quick, clever, and brutal.
@WheelTod: Hate it when you're getting rad footage of an accident scene to put on Facebook & some loser says "Hey, aren't you the paramedic we called?"