@tangledteatime: An eight year old offered to sell me drugs. Isn't that disgusting? Why would I pay when I can just beat him up and take them? He's EIGHT.
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@SwedishCanary: If you answer the phone and say "Hello, you're on the air." most telemarketers will hang up quickly.
@bourgeoisalien: I like to play fetch with my cat....which, you know, is just me throwing stuff, followed by disappointment.
@SarcasticSadOne: Me: You don't have to tell me twice. Narrator: 38 times. You have to tell her 38 times.