@ValeeGrrl: An enterprising divorce lawyer would set up a booth on a Sunday at a cut-your-own Christmas tree farm.
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@WilliamAder: My wife's returning today after an 8-day trip, so I should probably dampen the kitchen sponge and re-position it.
@TheToddWilliams: [creation] GOD: Gather round creatures & I'll tell you what you'll eat ANTEATER: I'm SO excited! DUNG BEETLE: I got a bad feeling about this
@JustDontBugMe: Well, if a raccoon doesn’t have to justify it's actions, why do I need to tell my mom that I ate the entire bag of M&M’s?
@mommajessiec: [at doctor’s office] Nurse: You may get undressed now. Me: [rips off tear away pants] Nurse: Most people wait until I’m out of the room but okay.