@ipalatsky

An old Russian wisdom:
Tell me who your friends are,
And I’ll tell you what
you’ll be charged with.

You Might Also Like

@ArtConDee

Can you just bear with me for a moment? *grabs salmon out of stream. bites head off. hibernates.*

@DontWorryBoutB

my daughter said “it’s cold, but it’s a beautiful day.” ppl w no bills are so positive.

@TheBoydP

Guys, don’t panic if you find a sticky note from your wife in the morning with only the word “garbage” on it. It’s probably just trash day.

@SoulYodeler

It takes a big man to admit his mistakes. It takes a bigger man to fix them. It takes an enormous man to close down a Chinese buffet. High-5

@ericsshadow

I’ve made 2 terrible decisions in my life and they’re both outside throwing rocks at the new neighbors.

@Parkerlawyer

I’m just a lawyer, standing in front of a Judge, trying to make him understand that stopping for coffee was a necessity and I should not be held in contempt for being late.

@stephenjmolloy

Therapist: Why are you here?
Me: Ahh, the great existential question. Why are any of us-
Therapist: No, I mean your appointment is tomorrow.