And then the devil said, “leave her on read.”
You Might Also Like
Me recordaron éste meme
5: “Why is the moon so bright?”
Me: “It’s not, it’s pretty dim actually.”
Moon: “I heard that.”
Imagine “are you ready for some football?” sung to the tune of “Do You Want To Build A Snowman?” Yes I’m trying to ruin this for everyone.
Employee: please stop
Me: I’m just finding the right avocado
Employee: people usually just squeeze it
Me: *takes one bite out of another avocado* really?
Her: I think I love you
Her: Did I say something wrong?
Me: *running away with only one arm attached* not at all
Gen Z, Boomers, Millennials and Gen X
HER: I was mauled by a bear mountain biking
ME: *long drag on cigarette* what kinda bike was it riding, Carol
I remember a friend asking me why I had a bottle of wine in my car, I said I got it for my wife…
He said good trade…
*brings a gun to a knife fight*
*brings a gun to a pillow fight*
*brings a gun to a food fight*
who keeps inviting this guy