*steals machine parts all year*
*gets coal for xmas*
“Santa you idiot, the parts were for a pressure chamber”
*turns coal into diamond*
“And to my heirs, I will leave all this….”
*gestures toward 146 half-full nail polishes, all roughly the same color
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an octopus is just a wet spider
The dude who designed almond-milk cartons to look exactly like chicken-broth cartons should have to drink the coffee I just made.