@1MeLrO
a:2:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:”user”;s:13:”NurseMurderer”;s:5:”image”;s:90:”http://a0.twimg.com/profile_images/3044853347/69f7663f88d6947ff943382bbdf849b0_bigger.jpeg”;s:6:”id_str”;s:18:”350420592463319042″;s:7:”retweet”;s:2:”30″;s:5:”tweet”;s:22:”You can’t rush stupid.”;}s:7:”retweet”;i:0;}
You Might Also Like
@GuyAdvisor Cleavage is the original Jedi Mind Trick.
@SugarMagicSpice ‘If cicadas are allowed to sit in the goddamned trees and scream then so should I.’
@GrantTanaka 1. gather ’round, young-uns, whiles I tellya bout how yer momma & I met, and also practice this genteel old-timey accent
@ArfMeasures WIFE [in labour] GOD MAKE IT STOP
MIDWIFE: The baby’s
WIFE: NO, THE NOISE
ME [stops playing pan pipes] Is the nurse being too loud, love?
@xxsomebunnyxx “I put on panties cause there was a spider on the deck and I don’t know where it went.” and other morning texts.
@LiamDrydenEtc “Millennials are so entitled!”
Aye well I don’t see 20-somethings screaming for the manager because their coupon expired a month ago, Janet
@jellybnbonanza After searching every level of the parking deck, I’ve come to the conclusion that I will never remember where I parked my car, so looks like I’m gonna just have to buy another one and call it a day.
@Jerrypleasure Newspaper: A 6yo saved someone’s life.
*flashback to me finding a discount coupon on road*
ME: I also have big news.