@RandiLawson: Any restaurant can be family style if the waiter criticizes your order
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@Cali_Kid_Mike: "You clean up nicely", is just a polite way of saying, "You usually look like shit."
@Darlainky: Me: Hey Google Home. GH: You can call me Google. Me: *batting my lashes* My, you certainly do move fast.
@IRLPepperMD: [guy wearing a ski mask holds a gun to my head] "please go skiing with me I am so alone"