@Cali_Kid_Mike: "You clean up nicely", is just a polite way of saying, "You usually look like shit."

@Darlainky: Me: Hey Google Home. GH: You can call me Google. Me: *batting my lashes* My, you certainly do move fast.

@IRLPepperMD: [guy wearing a ski mask holds a gun to my head] "please go skiing with me I am so alone"

@insanelynormal1: It all went downhill when he texted me he's abscessed with me.

@BibiCheret: Is it wrong when your therapist invites other therapists to your session, wine is flowing, appetizers are served, and he says to you, begin?