I drink a lot of water for someone who claims to hate being alive
Anyone else notice the world starting to get worse after Iron Man died?
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Not to get too technical, but chemistry says alcohol IS a solution. So I win.
i could miss 4 days of school in a row in HS and have all A’s and you zone out for 38 seconds in college and ur grade goes from a B to a G
Air conditioning – not a fan
How To Get Rich:
1. Place a Swear Jar next to Samuel L Jackson.
2. Empty it the next day.
3. Become a millionaire.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
My neighbor broke up w her bf and piled all his stuff on the curb and I just added a boxspring to it bc I’ve been meaning to get rid of it
The ‘theme’ of every theme park is the need for more effective birth control.
Of course I care about ethical farming practices and proper nutrition. My eggs came from chickens who were fed only the finest vegetarians.
Hey everyone who says aliens don’t exist.
Explain morning people.