The original “Ben Hur” was a mega
hit movie ….with ( 11 ) Oscars.
The remake is a box office flop.
A clear case of “Ben Hur, Done That”
Apparently a ‘Defibrillator’ doesn’t make someone tell the truth
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I’m not sure what my husband is planning on doing for me on Mother’s Day but I hope it’s laundry.
I’m vegan now but I’m still gonna eat eight spiders a year on cheat days
Shouldn’t elevators have a different name for the trip back down?
[clown cleaning shower]
MRS CLOWN: Don’t forget to remove the hair from the drain.
[clown just keeps pulling long multi-coloured hair out]
When I see how my boys have loaded the dishwasher I think, “Maybe their father is my cousin.”
Not to brag but I’ll inherit 17 bottles of Old Spice when my dad dies.
HER: Talk dirty to me.
ME: I don’t want to.
ME: No, I’m bad at it.
HER: I’m sure you’re not.
ME: I really am.
HER: Just try.
ME: *whispers in her ear*
HER: Yeah, never do that again.
ME: I like you, I think you’re cute
MY CRUSH: oh um
ME: HAHAHA omg my dog was chewing on my phone lol how did he type that
[on a date]
Him: I love the law.
Me: [trying to impress] I like food courts.