@deegeemindi

Apparently coming to the Easter egg hunt dressed like the playboy bunny was not appropriate.

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@crylenol

That ends your training. You’re now a GameStop employee. Any questions?

“What do I do if a girl comes in”

Err *boss scrambles thru manual*

@brunopieroni

Nothing says “I’m stubborn” like owning a BlackBerry in 2013.

@KentTheG

It costs today’s parents $235,000 to raise a child. And that’s just for the alcohol.

@donni

Codpieces aren’t supposed to made out of fish? Crap! Hang on, then, I need to change.

@VerifiedJayy

Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades.

Wait til spring

Enjoy

@badbanana

Woke up screaming this morning. My apologies to everyone in the meeting.

@mommajessiec

I think I speak for everyone when I say how dare you, Oreo serving size, how dare you.

@Mr_Kapowski

Spice up your otherwise trite wedding by making the groomsmen act as pallbearers and carry the groom to the altar in a casket

@sofarrsogud

When you think about it, Carry On My Wayward Son is very poor parenting advice. It should be more Reign It In Douchebag You’re Upsetting Your Mom but that wouldn’t sell records I suppose.