be careful when u talk baby talk to a baby becuase if u dont understand what ur saying u may acidentaly be declaring war in baby langauge
Apparently Hooters is a great place to meet single dads on a Sunday.
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a guy told me his name was Drazen earlier and he did not appreciate me asking if that was short for dried raisin
WTF, marathoners? I don’t even like to drive 26 miles.
YOU (trying to insult me): I bet you’re fun at parties
ME (insulted but the wrong way): I am not! How dare you
If I answer yes maybe it’ll finally come true
WHY ARE WE ALLOCATING EMERGENCY AID FOR THE ARTS?
Screamed by people who have been watching Netflix, reading books, and playing video games for 18 hours/day.
I thought twerking was tweeting at work
That’s how out of the loop I am
Auto correct tries to change the word “pussies” to “Aussies”…. Just saying.
Donkey Kong sommelier
1990’s: *gets knocked down* *gets up again*
2020’s: *gets knocked down* *gets up* *washes hands* *burns clothes* *initiates contact tracing*