Apparently “I don’t like scary movies,” is not an appropriate response to being asked to watch a wedding video.

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Son hunted 4 part of our family dinner 2night! With steady nerve & calm focus, he tracked down the hot dog buns for us at the grocery store.


I have a bad habit of starting things and never finishing them.

Let’s all be thankful I’m not a surgeon.


I’m not here to fix your problems, i’m here to set an example of what happens when your problems don’t get fixed.


If you’ve ever asked yourself, “what if Cartman grew up and became president?”, well…


Please stop adding noises to your songs that sound like maybe something is wrong with my car.


I’m so confused when the TV voice before a show I’m about to watch says, “For mature audiences only.” Can I watch or not?


Apparently I walked 2700 steps yesterday.

Don’t you get like 2000 just for waking up?


Hockey fights are cool but imagine the make up sex afterwards in the locker room.