@simoncholland

Apparently it is “against church policy” to drop your kids off in the nursery and then go to brunch.

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@Schmoodles

My computer crashed and now all the other computers have slowed down so they can see what’s happening.

@jonnysun

respond to every april fools joke by staring the person directly in the eye and saying “yes, that truly was a fool’s joke”

@EromoEgbejule

As seen on Reddit: “Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people”.

Discuss.

@Tinkerbell_

There’s no such thing as coincidence?
I’m confused.
If there is no such thing why did they name it?
Coincidence?
I think not Xx

@Buzzee09

If he stars all your photos that means he’s leaving his wife for you, right?

@TheBoydP

I sent a coworker a 15 page document as 15 one page PDF files rather than one 15 page PDF file.

Passive-aggressive level achieved: Expert