We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters
@fuzzlime: Apparently Pound Town is NOT a British dollar store
@KeetPotato: date: [breaks 3 minute silence] "you dont have to use the chopsticks just to impress me"
me: [trying to pick up my beer] "i can do it"
@vaguemachinist: [During sex]
Her: Go deeper!
Me: *panics and start quoting Hemingway*
@JohnLyonTweets: I'm not saying your perfume is too strong. I'm just saying the canary was alive before you got here.
@ericsshadow: Even the stick figure woman on my wife's back window has a headache.
@flashember: (invention of the crib)
put that baby in jail