@EricGoldie: Apparently "some assembly required" is IKEA for "here's a beech tree and some nails."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ibid78: Probably the hardest part about being a dj is when you get into a fight and you gotta hold your headphones up to your ear with one shoulder.
@sucittaM: I found $80 in my jeans. The kid in me says "Buy Nerf guns and candy", but the adult in me says "Buy vodka, Nerf guns and candy".
@panmidwest: i just bought a used car and the owners left their “baby on board” sign in it. i don’t have any children so i just wrote “former” on it