Approx 4,500yrs ago men would wake up everyday to build the great pyramid. I got up this morning with anxiety about unloading the dishwasher

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This drag race is not at all what I expected. Are they in dresses INSIDE of the cars, at least?


bro think about being homies w Joaquin Phoenix in “her”. trying to console him over his broken heart but at the same wanting to be like “dude she is a phone”


My friend told me he doesn’t believe in having children so now I’m wondering if other people can see mine or if it’s just me


People say you can’t avoid death but I’ve been doing it all my life.


Dear Dreamworks,

How to Train Your Dragon was not the instructional movie I was hoping for since acquiring a Komodo dragon


Mike Pence getting booed at Hamilton is the worst thing to ever happen to a politician at a play


Do you guys remember 10 years ago, when all the people with gluten allergies were dying in the streets like diseased cattle?


My class teacher once said “Write and Practice.” Turns out she was right. I practiced on my desk just before I started my exam and it worked


me: wow a pegasus
flying horse: actually Pegasus was just one horse we all have different names
me: oh whats yours
flying horse: Pegasus 2