@whatmaddness

Are dog catching nets real or just lies taught to us by Big Cartoon

You Might Also Like

@foodfacenow

Me:*shows up to 1st date with giraffe*
Her: OMG, can this date get any better
Me:*pulls out saddle* You bet giraffe it can

@Jamie1947

*talking into the phone, loudly enough
that I know those ladies can hear me*
WHATS THAT? MY SPACESHIP IS READY? GREAT, THANKS BARACK. OBAMA.

@fillthevacuum

*rides off into the sunset*

*rides back to get SPF 50 sunblock*

*rides off into the sunset*

@fuzzlime

Apparently Pound Town is NOT a British dollar store

@PinkCamoTO

Women who wear pink camo, what exactly are you hiding from?

@rickolantern

The strangers on this cruise are getting really sick of me eavesdropping and interrupting with “I’m in the same boat.”

@DaddyJew

The fact that there ain’t no rest for the wicked is probably why I’m always so tired

@TheBoydP

What’s it called when you plant a ghost pepper plant and when it starts making peppers you don’t eat them because you’re afraid they’ll be too hot?

I’m that