dinosaur: [walks out of divorce court to find a parking ticket on his car] ugh this day can’t get any wor
Are there any rules for lending your kids out as migrant workers?
You Might Also Like
✔ This claim is disputed!
Me: huh why is Cinnamon Toast Crunch Shrimp trending
30 seconds later: I’ve made a terrible mistake
My 2yr old tells people that grandma goes to a booty shop. My mom asks that I help her say beauty correctly, but this way is much more fun.
Me: Why are you running away like that? What’d you do?
My 6 year old: Nothing, I just thought you’d checked my closet.
“Adult assembly required” bro, how tf do you build an adult?
My son, frantically calling and texting, as if life depended upon it.
He’s brokered world peace?
Severed a limb?
Celebrating an international business deal?
How does one make tacos.
Someone a few houses over is having a party. I can hear the music and laughter and people enjoying themselves. I’m calling the damn cops.
I smelled alcohol and got all excited then realized it was only hand sanitizer.
Day 22 of quarantine and I’ve turned my living room into a nudist colony. The kids hate it but I’ve finally obtained some privacy