Are we sure this new planet isn’t just Pluto wearing a wig?

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Fox News: Witnesses are telling us Michael Brown may have charged Officer Darren Wilson atop a dragon, wielding a poison-tipped broadsword


Yet another “No DMs” bio. All this civil rights progress but bigotry against Dungeon Masters is still tolerated.


*lil wayne begins typing lyrics into mocrosoft word*
*paperclip pops onto screen*
Do you mean “digger”?


Yelling “spider” during sex does not make him pull out. I know this now.


My strong stance on drinking milk straight from the carton has met with no opposition from people who haven’t caught me yet.


‘I murder drifters and use their hair to make little dolls. Oh, you meant at work! My biggest weakness is that I’m a perfectionist.’


I just saw a poster that said “have you seen this man?” With a number to call… So I called the number and told them “No.”


If u luv sumthin set it free
*releases 2yr old into the wild*
Good luck son
*throws rocks


*experiences all five stages of grief while the waiter walks by my table with what I thought was my dinner*