@Sanbel11

– Are you even listening to me?

– Of course I am

– Ok, what did I just ask you?

– If I’m listening to you

You Might Also Like

@AZHORSEMOM77

I act really tough for a person who spent $40 on cookies I dont like because a girl scout  was crying

@Thedudish

The best way to dry off a wet baby is to leave him in a jar of rice overnight.

@peachesanscream

To find out your cat name, pick any name at random and refuse to answer to it.

@JannaKilimnik

Not at all embarassing when your newly potty trained toddler drops drawer and starts peeing on a tree… a fake tree… in the middle of a restaurant.

@LuvPug

It hurts when someone you love says mean things like, ‘Mom, wake up’ and ‘Mom, you need to get out of bed and make breakfast’

@jayleno

In New York, people are paying up to $100 for a “cronut,” which is croissant/donut. We call these people “midiots,” which is a moron/idiot.

@mdob11

I’m not getting married till Pizza Hut allows gift registry.

@iGreenMonk

My April Fools day joke blew up in my face.

I threatened divorce. My wife agreed.