– Are you even listening to me?

– Of course I am

– Ok, what did I just ask you?

– If I’m listening to you

You Might Also Like


I act really tough for a person who spent $40 on cookies I dont like because a girl scout  was crying


The best way to dry off a wet baby is to leave him in a jar of rice overnight.


To find out your cat name, pick any name at random and refuse to answer to it.


Not at all embarassing when your newly potty trained toddler drops drawer and starts peeing on a tree… a fake tree… in the middle of a restaurant.


It hurts when someone you love says mean things like, ‘Mom, wake up’ and ‘Mom, you need to get out of bed and make breakfast’


In New York, people are paying up to $100 for a “cronut,” which is croissant/donut. We call these people “midiots,” which is a moron/idiot.


I’m not getting married till Pizza Hut allows gift registry.


My April Fools day joke blew up in my face.

I threatened divorce. My wife agreed.