Oh, the other kind of staff meeting.
– Are you sure?
-defenet… difini… difine… YES IM SURE!
You Might Also Like
And Grandmother, what a big thighs you have!
*Wolf just starts crying*
“My phone’s about to die.” -Me, 30 seconds into every phone call.
I bought 2 bird feeders and now my husband is actually frustrated there are “so many birds” in the backyard.
Who gets angry at birds eating free food from a wooden house? My delightful husband, that’s who.
Me: So it’s kittens… driving sports cars!!
Studio Head: I need security up here NOW.
Me: PLEASE DON’T REJECT “THE FAST AND THE FURRIEST”
I hate it when I fall in love with someone, then the light turns green and they drive away
I will never have to admit to a mistake at work when I can blame the last person who quit
I sit in the corner eating my tortillas completely confused by this salsa class.
It’s Saturday and over 10 boxes just got delivered.
It’s like Amazon wants me to get a divorce.
12:00am – Government shuts down
12:01am – Saying “Merry Christmas” is illegal again
12:02am – All student loan balances go to zero
12:03am – It is now legal to marry marijuana
12:04am – Tide Pods become sentient