@moviesandcats

Ari Aster: spends years making a deeply disturbing film

Film twitter:

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@prettysadmostly

Im on a date I want to leave how do i leave without-nevermind I said that out loud he left

@dyldonot

[tv interview]
I’m with Amy. Her house was damaged by the floods, how are you?
[cut to Amy crying]
MORE LIQUID IS THE LAST THING WE NEED AMY

@panmidwest

[Calling concert venues across the country]

Hi yes, I’m just calling to let you know that on your website you spelled “weekend” incorrectly

@Megatronic13

Spider: what do you mean I don’t qualify??

Army Recruiter: look buddy, this isn’t the leggy

@solsayswhaaa

The only thing I miss about going to the movies is smuggling in an entire 4 course meal

@texasstalkermom

Naked and afraid, but it’s just me taking off all of my clothing before I weigh myself.

@Chumpstring

SCIENTIST: the earth is dying
ME: oh no how long do we have
SCIENTIST: 8 maybe 9 months
ME: so what you’re saying is no more condoms

@kv8

Must suck to see your ex getting married. I wouldn’t know, all mine have died in mysterious fiery car crashes.

@GrantTanaka

“I dunno, maybe you go steal an old lady’s purse, you can hold up a liquor store, & you…just sit there looking mean.”

-Unorganized Crime