@themessednest

As a little girl I dreamt of being Belle so I could have that beautiful yellow gown- As a grown woman I want to be Belle so I can be locked away in an enchanted castle where the dishes clean themselves.

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@SacamanoB

Whenever I wake up in a bad mood I always wear a shirt I don’t like just in case I turn into The Hulk.

@SondraDeeMe

To avoid the awkward 5 minutes, lean over and give the cashier butterfly kisses while waiting for your 500 foot CVS receipt.

@JimmerThatisAll

This day in history. 1961. In Spain the fascist government of Generalissimo Francisco Franco declared equal rights for women and men. None.

@SaraThomas84

I’m convinced that people are now just getting married and having babies to have something to post on FB

@XAIMMadellynne

Bro,I seriously locked myself outta my jeep.

He was driving a top-less jeep with the windows down.

@whatdreamsmaygo

alcohol has an odd way of revealing who we really are. turns out, I’m batman.

@psybermonkey

*watches Charlotte’s Web*

Netflix: you might also enjoy…
Babe
Peppa Pig
Season 1 episode 1 of Black Mirror

@BoomBoomBetty

Me: Forever young!

Persistent middle age chin hair: lol nope.

Muscle pulled when reaching for the tv remote: hahaha.