@pittdave13: As an adult you should already know shit like if you’re standing in the rain you should wear a rain coat and if you’re standing in a trench, you should wear a trench coat
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@thenatewolf: If you ever quit twitter, instead of writing something sanctimonious, write "About to go skydiving. Wish me luck!" and then never post again
@AimeeHelene1: *husband lifts up hood of car* H: Aimee, could you... Me: *honks horn* H: *jumps* Damnit Aimee, don't... Me: *honk* H: Me: *honk*
@PhuckinCody: [i walk into the Popes room as he's napping] hey can i - stop screaming, ur gonna have a heart attack- can i borrow your hat for a snapchat?