@johnnyw1981: As I lay my phone down to sleep, I pray my brain won't think of tweets. If I die before I wake, I pray and hope my phone to break.
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@trojansauce: [watching lion king] TIMON: hakuna matata ME: *whispering to date* that means no worries TIMON: it means no worries ME: see?
@LurkAtHomeMom: [Interview] Why do you want this job? Me: *opens briefcase* I don't. *pulls out Snickers* I just wanted to eat this without my kids around