@realHamOnWry: As you grow older you'll start feeling your body getting stiffer. But don't worry ... it's just rigor mortis practicing for the big day.
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@HockeyGoddess24: I have the bible on my iPod (stop laughing!) and it just had an update. Now I'm really confused .....
@JayUhOh: Five chickens leave Topeka traveling west at 25 mph. Please help me find them chickens. Those are my chickens.
@truegritrumble: WIFE: Can you send these party invites out? ME: Sure *throws them out window* WIFE: Did you- ME: If they're meant to come, they'll come.