*holds a grudge
Grudge: Get off me.
ask your insurance company if you’re healthy enough to see a doctor
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when people leave my 15 yr old sister on read she sends them voice memos of her Screaming
Make me look like I’m running really fast.
I feel melancoll, meloncholl, melancholl, meloncholy, you know what, I’m good.
I think I have resting watching sex scene with my parents face
GROUND CONTROL: Oh goddamit, it looks like Major Tom is going to sing through this whole mission. Pull the circuit.
MAJOR TOM: 🎶 the circuit’s dead, there’s something wrong
*Ohio State coach*
Boys, I know how we’re gonna beat the Oregon Ducks
With our secret weapon
*pulls out a loaf of bread*
Let’s make a deal. You sing Christmas music in the office and I’ll leave 5 minutes early to let the air out of your tires. Deal?
I’ve never had a “hard duck” in my life.
Quit your shit.
Hair pulling during sex is hot unless the whole wig comes off.