I was sad nobody would go jogging with me, so I threw a rock at my neighbor, and when he started chasing me I felt much better.
Asking all my friends for advice until I find one stupid enough to agree with the dumb thing I already did.
You Might Also Like
Wife has spotted me tweeting while she is talking to me.
This does not please her.
She is currently approaching me.
She is reaching for my
Batman: Introducing, the Robinmobile.
Robin: I’m so excited!
Robin: Bruce, that’s a car bed…
Batman: You’re welcome.
CW: Can you hold this Snickers?
CW: Are you holding it in your mouth?
Of course I’ll buy a harmonica for a 3 year old. He doesn’t live with me
“I wanna know who is responsible for this!” nn-Me to my parents, while pointing at myself.
Look UPS guy, you can’t just show up at someone’s house unannounced and expect them to have pants on.
“Some people call me the space cowboy”
“Some people call me the gangster of love”
BARISTA: I’m just gonna put Steve on the cup
If your dog & your baby are fighting, it’s important to leave them to it so that a pack leader can be established.