@3sunzzz: Assert your dominance by putting a few decorative pillows in your husband's truck.
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@: My parents are replacing their coffee machine, which is 7 years old. Me: that’s not that old, I have sheets older than that. Mother: well perhaps your sheets aren’t getting as much action as our coffee machine. I’m going to need an ambulance.
@WilliamAder: Someone tweeted today that they were "29-ish" and I didn't know you could "ish" 15 years.
@better_off_dad: HR: Know why we called you down? Me: Hmm...my trench coat? HR: Try again. Me: Because I'm naked under my trench coat?
@AristotlesNZ: Need hospital etiquette advice. How long should you wait after they pull the plug to ask if you can use the socket to charge your phone?